WELCOME TO TOPICALTRASH.COM
It gives me great pleasure to welcome you to this "website" where various attractive goods may be purchased "online." On behalf of all the directors of Amalgamated Worldwide Enterprises, I wish to assure you that there have been no compromises whatsoever with AWE's traditional commitment to the highest quality goods offered at the highest prices reasonable under prevailing market conditions. We assure you, our new "Web Surfer" customers, of the same level of service that we afford to patrons of our terrestrial shops in London, Paris, and Monte Carlo. Please inform me without delay should any AWE commodity or service prove less than impeccable.

Yours most cordially,

Sir James Mountbatten-Smythe, OBE, KFC
Lt. Colonel (ret.), Queen's Own Fusiliers
Chairman, Amalgamated Worldwide Enterprises, Ltd.
"The Manse"
Sandwich-on-Wye

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